3 Reasons why the Fashion sucks in West Virginia.

For my first blog post I am going to delve into the reasons why I hate the "dress code" of Southern Appalachia. I, myself, live in this area and know for a fact that if you have any fashion sense whatsoever you will have as hard of time fitting in here as an atheist vegetarian hippie. Some might see my reasons as comical or sarcastic. However, they are completely serious. Try living in a county that is full of Wal Mart shoppers and churches that do not alow their women to wear makeup or cut their hair. Yes, it's true churches tell them that. Of course, I am no fashionista but, I do try to go outside the ever so popular tight cloth pants and cigarette t-shirts with bleach stains. Not everyone in this area dresses like this, though. Because, now I realize I have given a bad image of what people look like in West Virginia. You do have your occasional snaggle-tooth barbarian hunter. However, most people are normal and have perfectly good teeth and sense. Most just suck at wearing clothes. The reasons:

#1: Individuality is frowned on. Pretty much beginning in grade school, if a child has a little creative spark in them and decides to wear an outfit that the other kids find strange then they get made fun, called stupid, or have the teachers ask you "Did mommy not get up in time to see what you wore out the door?" Here's a true story for you. In middle school, I went through this punk rock phase of wearing Green Day, The Clash, and Ramones t-shirts. I wore my Green Day shirt to school probably more than I should. Here's what ensued: "That looks like a boys shirt." "Who are they?" "Why don't you wear prettier clothes?" Here's the real kicker, the specific Green Day shirt had their famous American Idiot heart grenade on it. I didn't even know what it was at the time but, of course, one teacher had a problem with it and alas, I wasn't alowed to wear my beloved Green Day shirt anymore. Oh, and don't even try in highschool to be different. You can either be the casual preppy, dressy priss, or mild goth. No piercings other than the nose or navel. I you were to walk into the school with a vintage dress and chuck taylors on then you would get looked at and talked about. The kids were so darling about their beloved religion, you couldn't question church but, on the weekends you could get more drunk than Mick Jagger ever thought about being and have sex with everybody including your boyfriend, your friend's boyfriend and some guy you met at the mall and look like everyone else why doing it. Lovely.

#2: Religion Rules: As you can maybe already tell, the church is a pretty big part of Southern Appalachia. As you can also tell, I'm not all too into the way the churches around here do things.
Some are normal. You can go to them wearing what you want within normalcy and non-slutty reasons,(the rest of the week however is o.k. for the "man stealin" attire,) you can wear makeup, and (GASP) you can even cut and style your hair! If it seems strange to you that a church wouldn't allow their members to umm look good well, it's very strange to me, also. Have you ever tried wearing an ankle length skirt in varying shades of denim everyday of the week? The ladies who do tell me it's comfortable and what women should wear. I disagree. The long denim skirt is the single ugliest item of clothing I have ever seen. Pair this with an extra large bun due in fact to the butt length hair, a plain face, and you have Pentacostal Feirce baby!

#3: Attention Wal Mart Shoppers: Don't get me wrong. I love Wal Mart as much as the next downhome country girl. I even have a few pieces I bought there a few days ago. HOWEVER, some women buy the things that only seemed to be offered at Wal Mart, Magic Mart, basically all the Marts. These items being tight, thin, strecth pants, and tank tops galore. Some women love these two items of clothes put together as an outfit and even if they don't have the size big enough for them they buy it anyway and everyone gets to enjoy the view of their granny pantyline and and back boobs. Yes, I used the word backboobs. Now, I like the casual look of shorts and a t-shirt everynow and then but, I'm sure many women here will be shocked to know that there is a time and place to dress nice. Not, like a crackwhore skank. Sorry, but it takes harsh words to get my point across. Here's another true story. My grandmother, mother, and I went to have lunch at one of our favorite resturaunts. We sat and waited to be served when this girl stood up and sauntered to the register. I mean she thought she looked good in a pair of TIGHT purple cloth shorts and a Marborl t-shirt. The worst part is on it's way. When she turned around the bottoms of her butt-cheeks were showing. Needless to say, I immediately lost my appetite.

All in all, seeing these people commit fashion suicide day after day is sort of depressing. I want nothing more than to live in New York or Los Angelas where individuality rules and fashion is actually an important part of lives. I know fashion is not the most important thing but, wearing decent looking clothes makes everyone happy. You're probably thinking I'm mean for making fun of the people in my community or maybe you think, "Well, they're poor, they probably can't afford anything better." My answer is yes, some people can't and they're exceptions. Well, some of them dress better than the ones who do have enough money to spend on clothes. The choice to wear these awful clothes don't come from personal style. It comes from laziness and having the communtiy decide what's acceptable.